You really appreciate the significance of the weekends when you start working. I'm feeling the same way i felt during my internship though then, i was quite happy to stay back with my colleagues and help them whenever i can. I just started this week and beginnings are always tough. People are generally very nice but you can't get rid of the awkwardness even if you want to. I'm slowly picking up the tracks; it makes me feel like i'm a slow learner when it comes to learning. Though my parents and friends object to that train of thought, i still feel like i'm a slow learner. In school, i go to lectures and attend tutorials just to listen and write notes. I don't usually understand things in a snap of the finger so i absorb as much as i can during class and when i get home, i nail myself to the chair and my study table and analyse things slowly. Not to mention how it was like when i truly hated the essence of accounting and looked my lecturer up to have a 1-1 session. It was the first time that i actually asked for personal help and although i felt a sense of achievement, it made me compare myself more with my peers. Why do they understand things so easily? How come they get opportunities knocking on their door every now and then? Why am i struggling when they're breezing through each exams?

I try very hard, though my parents always say that it may not be as hard as others. Yes, indeed. But i do try my best and put in effort when i set my mind right onto something. My mum (who clearly knows me best) once told me this,"You're the type of person who will go all the way if you really put your mind into it." She messaged me this right before my last race in NSS. 400m run. Something i have never attempted before. And true enough, i got first place! I'm not gloating. It's just an example of how i really am. But not everyone bothers to wait for you to catch up. Not everyone bothers to be understanding and expects you to get all the perfect answers at the first instance.

This always makes me think of whether i am fit enough to be a teacher. Over the past few years, i've learnt several things being around people. People who teach me or people whom i teach. As a teacher (of any kind), you need to have the passion to teach. Additionally, you need to be extremely understanding. You need to understand their students' learning pace and teach at the rate where they will be able to cope with. Another important factor is the fact that a teacher has to be motivational and inspiring. You shouldn't be discouraging your student when he/she makes a mistake. Instead, reinforce the important point and tell him/her to try again and not stop till you get it right. I feel that it's always fine to share your experiences with them. How you cope when you get the answers wrong all the time and then feel on top of the world when you finally get it. Don't people always say the journey is sometimes better than the prize? Ok maybe i phrased it in the wrong way but it is SO TRUE. It's something i can truly relate to myself because of Additional Maths in secondary school. I failed all my tests/exams 3/4 of the time, only passing occassionally. But with the help of a great teacher (who i had to travel for 1.5 hours to meet twice every week) and the determination, i managed to do it. I surprised myself then. And up till today, i still cannot believe.

Hardwork doesn't always pay off. But you need to complement it with trust too. Trust in yourself. And confidence. That is definitely something i took away from my O Levels.

There's a long road ahead of me. Education or career-wise, it doesn't matter. We all have to keep learning and keep upgrading ourselves. Or we'll lose out. And there is a reason why being a teacher brings a bucketful of joy. Because students need teachers who can do all of that above mentioned, coupled with their own effort and dedication, to succeed.

Don't you agree?

So cheers to the teachers out there who helped me build up my confidence and never pushed me down. You're my inspiration and i will always remember you when it is my turn to teach someone. It somehow made me rethink my desired future career as well. As far-fetched as it is, it IS about time i started thinking and writing down my goals (which i never managed to get down writing).

Also, i had a conversation with my mum a few months ago. "What did you think i would grow up to become?" My mum replied,"I always thought you would be a teacher. I still feel like you will end up teaching. It's a good career. God loves people who pass their knowledge on to others too. Besides, you grew up role-playing as a teacher every time you played. Your dad feels the same too."

MashaAllah.

Now, there's another question i've thought of to ask my parents when i'm older.

"Are you happy of the type of person i have grown up to become?"

I don't have the courage to ask right now because i know the answer will be filled with a lot of my weak points. Hehehe. So i'm going to work hard on them and make sure that they answer with a full-fledged YES. God Willing! Amin (:

, osn.

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