A week has passed and what have i done? Stayed home to read and read and read countless words :( It makes me sick to the stomach at times and it makes me wonder why i opted out of the course restructure. The thing about me is, i complain A LOT. But eventually, i will still sit and go ahead with whatever tasks that i am assigned.

Revision has been going pretty okay. I slacked a lot last week but I managed to catch up with my study plan so i'm currently on track. It still worries me though. You never know how prepared you are until you sit for the paper :( So far, i have only sat for ONE open book examination. That was my statistics paper in year 1.2.. How long ago was that?! Even though it was an open book exam, we only flipped through the book for the tables to find the values. I assume the school wanted to save money so instead of printing like.. 6 sheets of formulae, they made it an 'open book' paper. Haha!

A secondary school teacher once told us,"You know... What you are memorising right now has no link to what's happening. They're just training your brain cells to absorb more information." IS IT?! MAYBE AH. All we did was memorise and vomit out everything what! But now in Uni, it's going to be different :( They have this thing called 'critical thinking' and it freaks me out :( Wonder if i have the capability. My essays required us to do 'critical thinking' and it almost killed me.

But.. All i need is a positive mindset to get me through this, insyaAllah. Mum and dad won't be around when i have my exams so i hope i can discipline myself :( There's a high chance my brother might not be at home too so.. I want to cry already! :( What if i breakdown? I don't have my mum to console me and lift my spirits up... Sigh.

However, of course i want them to go ahead with their plans. It's a dream. No, not a dream anymore. Because God, (alhamdulilah, alhamdulilah, alhamdulilah) gave them this chance to fulfill His wishes. I hope they have a smooth trip there and perform their duties faithfully. I pray, insyaAllah, for their safety and the imense joy and happiness once they complete it. I pray... That we will all get the chance to see that day and become better Muslims.

Amin.

, osn.

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