Anyway that's not the whole point of this post.

I want to put this out today. For us girls out there. It's not good to be a 100% dependent or reliant on someone else (aka a guy) these days. I'm not saying all guys are jerks. I have met guys who are extreme sweethearts and gentlemen. I just don't think we should put our heart and soul into them unless we're married. I personally do not know how a heartbreak feels. And i'm not in the right position to say this for that reason. But what I have learnt, seeing people around me struggle to get their lives back on track after heartbreaks, is the mistakes. I may be saying this because like I've mentioned, I've never had a heartbreak. That's partly because my mother has taught me not to be too reliant on one particular person. We have to be independent and strong for ourselves. I'm sure you have heard this,"You need to love yourself before you can love others." Or something along those lines.

Also, I'm not saying that it is wrong to love someone dearly and hopelessly. I believe everyone will have that experience. But I personally do not feel like I can love someone so dearly or depend on them a hundred percent unless I know that he is the right one for me, and that marriage is definitely on the cards for both of us. Like how I have this personal vow to save my first kiss and many firsts for my husband, I hope I stay true to what I have put out for myself when my time finally comes.

Maybe these are the reasons why I never went into a relationship. Maybe guys don't like girls like me with mindsets like these. But I guess it doesn't matter because I believe with all my heart, that someone with come along. Someone who loves you for who you are, respects you for your values and someone who will not hurt you in so many unimaginable ways.

Be proud of yourself. You don't need to be attached to somebody to boost your esteem. Neither do you need them to make you feel pretty. At the same time, you need to let go in order to move on. And you need to love yourself before you can take that step forward. Trust yourself.

I wish I have the guts to tell these to some people who are dear to me. But sometimes, it's difficult. Why? Because I'm 20, I have never been through a relationship and they might use that to tell me that I don't "understand". A pity though. I know it will hurt your ego. But I wish these people can wake up and reflect. Stop hurting yourself over those people who've hurt you time and time again. Stop hanging on to something that will never be yours again. It's NOT WRONG to want to try. But why try if you know that the past is something that is difficult to erase. And for all you know, the same cycle might repeat itself.

SO WHY? Why put yourself through the same misery again? Aren't you supposed to be happy to be in a relationship? It's got a lot of ups and downs. But at the end of the day, you should be telling yourself that the fights and quarrels that you share, are healthy fights. Not fights that end up in bruises and scars.

I wanted to add something else. But I'm afraid it may be too harsh for certain people. But really, I just want the girls out there to trust themselves and be strong. Be strong and not let anyone (and I do mean ANYONE!) hurt you.

We're girls! And we shouldn't be afraid to show the rest our prowess.

Perhaps this all here are the reasons why I don't have a boyfriend. I even asked a close male friend if I'm too fierce. But hey, I don't want to be hurt by someone who doesn't deserve my love. Because they don't deserve to hurt me since they don't love me.

So there, here I am. Single, happy and willing to wait for my very own Mr Right to come my way, some day. InsyaAllah. Someone who will respect not only the most important people in my life; but women and girls in general.

, osn.

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