|
Time, I've been patient for so long
how can i pretend to be so strong?
|
|
 Profile
OSN, 14061991Chinese/Malay, Muslim, RMIT (Bbus Mgt Finance Major) Year 2, TP Business - Banking & Finance (Graduate), B.I.G, TPVC. Loves God, family, friends, photography, videography, sports, music, movies - LOTR, Transformers, European history, Japanese & Korean culture, Julia Roberts, Whoopi Goldberg, huge KPop fan, books by Jodi Picoult, Stephenie Meyer & Khaled Hossen Tagboard
Exits
|
25 January 2008, 3:00 pm
Burden? Am i happy or sad? I really don't know. There was a major improvement in some of my subjects, but there were also major disappointments than ever. I thank God for giving me what i thought i deserved for my A Math. The tuition, travelling, and the effort that i put in. I had a whole year round of D7s, F9s for my A Math but this time around, i had a B3, and i must thank Huimin for that(even though i haven't picked up the courage to tell her that i couldn't make the cut). What i was upset with the most was my English, Comb Humans and Math. These were my 3 sbjects i aimed to get an A. But i failed. I couldn't think when i saw so many Bs filling up my cert. I really couldn't. At first thought, i was glad that i passed everything, and managed to secure a B for my Chemistry FINALLY. But when i went to the back to count my points, i didn't make the cut at all. One point too many. I was hysterically crying and i couldn't think. My mind was blank and i was lost as to where i can head next. I must really thank Maira's Mum, Maira herself, Fakhirah darling and a few more who stayed with me while i really broke down into tears. Tears that i hoped i never shed. I guess that dream came true. That dream that woke me up at 2am in the morning. That dream that haunted me. I guess it really came true. Dreams that you have during that time do come true. Since i've concluded so, does it mean that ah ma's dream is going to come true too? I think i'm partly happy also, because i might get into something that i've wanted to since i was 15, which created a controversy between my parents and myself. Also, mum told me to look at it as a blessing in disguise. My first thought was Yes. I get to wear my hijab to school. Hafizah sent me a message that ended off with,"Life has ups and downs, and if God doesn't test you, if He does not love you." I need to hug hug hug her for that because such words are so meaningful. You realise that God does everything for a reason, and only HE knows what's right for me and whatnot. Maybe THIS IS a sign for me to get closer to him. PS: Thanks for all the love and concern from all my friends. Shamz, Mariame, Maira, Hafizah, Fakhirah(i love you!), Sofia, Chris, Irah, FIFI(thank you), and so many others. AND! Thank you Ah ma for coming over to see me. I love you and i'm glad i went to the market with you this morning cos' it really helped me shake off this turbulent time. PSS: You are not a failure that cannot be amended. There are many options out there for you and there's no embarassment in anything. As long as you're willing to do it right, as long as you're willing to work harder, there's always a way out. One said,"When there's a will, there's a way." You may feel like everything is bad right now, but look ahead, because there is so much more good things that you've haven't experienced. (This goes out to 2 people whom i truly care about, of 1 who is dear to me. For all you have done for me, i cannot repay because you make me feel so much better about everything and anything. The other who has been a good friend to me, and i will never forget who you are to me.)
|
|
Keep holding on,
because you'll get there eventually. |
|