I went back to the office this morning to get some things signed and it somehow felt good to see everyone actually. Initially, i thought it would be awkward since it was only 2 weeks ago that we bade goodbye. But no, it was a pleasant surprise as i saw my colleagues in the office. It's still as busy as ever, i don't think they will ever be free in that department but i beamed with joy when i saw them. Cik Jannah gave me a hug before i left and i felt like that was the nicest thing in the world. A lot of them thought i was crying because of my voice. My runny nose is STILL here even after taking my medicine for the past few days. Auntie was back at work (she was on long MC for the last few weeks of my internship) and it was nice to see her too. I got there at around 12 and waited for Jessica to be done with her work before heading out for lunch together with Robin. It felt really nice. I miss Cik Sab too. All in all, i kind of miss work. I haven't really expressed that in front of my friends because it seems a bit 'odd' because everyone enjoys being back in school. I LOVE school but i do miss work and my colleagues. I left with no regrets because i did my best there and had a good time because of my colleagues. Of course i miss them. (I guess this can be referred to as 'peer pressure'...) And maybe i'm really bad and expressing my feelings and thanks to people.. But i've been motivated by the messages that my colleagues wrote for me on the card. Whenever i feel down lately, i open up and read every single one of the messages and it cheers me up so much. Sigh! I wish i was better at words and expressing myself.

Anyhow, things in school have been pretty much the same way before we left for SIP. Except maybe i'm struggling to deal with some issues (they never seem to end for me, don't they?). I know i put myself in this position for the better of myself and possibly my future. But my intention was to settle things in a way that it would not hurt anybody. If you know me long enough, you would know that. I know people are talking behind my back and i'm trying hard to channel all my thoughts and paranoia into my work. That's the only route that i can take if i don't want to stress myself out any further. I wish people can put themselves in my shoes and actually spare a thought for me. Look, you don't know me. You don't understand the world/situation that i live in. So you have no right to judge me OR my decisions. There are certain things i can't explain here because it's really too private but people can guess. Like i said, these people probably don't know me at all. I trust my dimwits to know me so much because we lived through secondary school together so they most probably know. People like Viva; who always understands when i say 'I can't make it'. Yes it disappoints him and the rest but he replies with a "Ok no problem, i understand." This is why i love my dimwits so much. And i KNOW that we're going to grow old together as friends for sure, insyaAllah.

That's it for tonight then. Goodnight, have a good weekend (to whoever's reading this)!

, osn.

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