Nevermind. Better being busy than staying home and rot in front of the computer.

You said i was being calculative. Look at what happened. I changed okay. After the countless lectures and nagging, i've decided to do more than my own part. But now everything's being thrown back to me. Everyone said i had to be slightly more thick-skinned; even you by the way. But if i do, you comment that i'm being calculative. What do you want me to do?!

No wonder i have never had the feeling of being successful or having accomplished something - it's because i've always been critiqued and never praised. Even if i was praised, it was only temporary and never remembered. That's why i feel like a mediocre here.

Today wasn't as nice as it sounded (from the previous post). I've been dwelling over how i should react over what happened. It's so unfair. No one said life is fair. But who said life should be unfair?

I love the cold weather. The only thing that makes me truly upset is what happened hours back. It's better that i don't hold the grudge but it makes me sick in the stomach thinking of it...

PS: God, please help me. I put all my trust in You. Not only my trust, everything else included. Because at this moment, i don't feel like i can trust anyone... And it's painful to be this way.

, osn.

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