I've been feeling really sad. The thought of not having my parents around for a month makes me sad. I'm extremely happy that they're going for something that's a once in a lifetime thing but the thing is... I've never been away from my parents for even a week before! This is going to be a month! :(

I'm trying to spend as much time as i can squeeze out of this revision period with them but it hurts so bad because i really can't.

I stayed up late last night to study because i spent the morning and early afternoon visiting my sister's and grandfather's resting place. It felt so good to go there. I miss and love them both dearly. Before i went to bed last night, i did my prayers and an extra two rakaats for my parents and also do ask God to make my programme a smooth one. I bawled like a baby, mashaAllah... I'm trying so hard to kick the habit of being lazy. I asked for Him to keep them safe on their journey, and same for the fellow muslims doing the same. I asked for Him to make it easy for me and for me to gain more strength and knowledge. I asked for forgiveness, and also for Him to accept my repentance and make it long-term, that i'd stay this way till the day i die, insyaAllah. It was difficult to stop the tears from flowing. I meant what i said. And i don't want to go back to my old self. Old habits are hard to kick, but they're not impossible.

If you're reading this, could i ask you to help pray for my parents as well? I'm really proud of them for being able to perform the Haj this year. And i'm extremely thankful that God gave them the chance.

I love my parents. And this only goes to show how dependent i am on them. It's a chance for me to learn how to be independent.. Though i really want them to be my side forever #selfish.

I got to stop crying... Mum saw my sore eyes this morning and i told her that it's because i slept late. As a mother, i suppose she knew the exact reason for it :'(

, osn.

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