Hmm, back to blogging for the second time today. There's no doubt that this week has been very tiring for me. I don't know what's the exact reason but i do know that the project deadlines are giving me a scare and i keep worrying over quality ): On the other hand, i've experienced a sudden rush of mixed emotions within me. The previous night - as i blogged - i felt confused, uneasy and just too many emotions to put into words. I haven't been eating well lately. I force myself to have breakfast (sausage mcmuffin w/o egg ftw!) and then my next meal would be late lunch when i get home, and then... no more for the day. I reflected on my change of eating habits and realised it's not good to train my stomach to be like that; to go on without food, not feeling hungry and sorts. *SIGH, besides health, i've been really stressed out, referring to my organiser almost every 10 minutes just telling myself to hurry because deadlines are next week. Explains why i'm not excited for CNY this year ): Things are progressing so quickly, i feel as if a huge burden is on my shoulders. Did my mid-semester results motivate me? Did they also pressure me to produce the same results for the upcoming finals?

There's another reason why i've been feeling so messed up. A reason i only realised today (how foolish!) while i reflected on the bus back home. It's something i'm so embarassed about, too embarassed to share with ANYONE. I've been so busy with schoolwork, i actually neglected the most important task. Mum has always stressed about the issue and i've let it pass again and again, telling her that i will do it when i have the time. It's been months and i still haven't made time to complete what she told me to do; it was also something i want to accomplish myself for months. MONTHS! Soon, it'll become YEARS and God knows how long i will live! If i don't do it now and if i suddenly pass on, i will regret forever. I don't even know how i will be able to face Him. How foolish of me.. to forget.. to neglect.. and to realise it only TODAY.

Tomorrow's a new day. With His permission, i hope i will at least take one step closer to what i need accomplish. Before my 18th, i want to be able to read and memorise it.

At this moment in time, that's my only resolution. I will not fail anyone this time, i hope. Not Him, not mum, not myself.

PS: NEED.MORE.SUSHI D:
PPS: Excel. In this world and the world hereafter.
PPPS: Those who don't reflect, don't realise where they've gone wrong. Because they don't realise their mistakes, they never make ammendments to correct those mistakes. And so, they will never learn.. I've been doing reflections all my life. Today's reflection... really made me think and by doing so, at least now i know how to correct my emotions and feel better. Thank You, beautiful healer.

, osn.

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