B.I.G meeting in the morning. Somehow it is disappointing that the responses for our events haven't been good at all. Even Mrs Tay said it's always us trying to work things out and get our fellow coursemates to join and bond, our events end up to be postponed or cancelled eventually because of the poor response or the H1N1 pandemic in the middle of the year. It's disappointing and demoralising because we do not have any support from our fellow coursemates. Which really sucks because we're the biggest diploma in Business School YET we are not bonded and strong as a family. And what about us, the committee? :/

After the meeting, all of us except Charmaine and Alex went to Ramen Ten to eat. HEHEHE. I finally satisfied my craving and the rest seemed to like the food there too. (Y) Ghangaa and i wanted to catch Zombieland but we realised that we would be late. So we skipped the idea and all of us went to T1 to window shop instead.

I slept on the way home - which felt like a long way back - and continued sleeping when i reached XD I don't know why but i felt so sleepy and tired. Over the weekend, i didn't want to do anything or talk too much. I just wanted a break from all the mugging and talking, i suppose. And whatever happened yesterday, i can't remember at all. I just don't want to THINK about anything. But this is always the case after tests/exams anyway!

Then again, tonight i'm vexed over some people who just don't seem to have the sense of responsibility and commitment. I just don't see how they want to work hard for this and get the best out of it. I don't see them having the same level of motivation as i do. I get so fed up because HEY. It's MY grades too. My mum even reprimanded me in Year 1,"You tell them that if you don't do well, you have to answer to your father." And that my future is at stake too. I don't take things like that too lightly. Because (1) i don't want to have to come up with excuses to tell my dad why i didn't do well and (2) i WANT my place in the Uni. Get it? So if you don't have what i have in mind, at least don't bring me down along with you.

Last week i met Fat at the bus stop and we were pouring out how we felt for this new semester. I'm proud that she kindda stepped up and said her piece. I really need to learn something from that. It's not like we WANT to hurt and upset other people. Sometimes it gets to our nerves and it's intolerable!

Moreover, we can't read their true colours till later. And it sucks. I wish i had fat and my HR group mates as a group together again. We bonded so well and even though we had tiny conflicts in the beginning, we overcame all those and still had fun during meetings, did our work well. There wasn't much to be mad or stressed about.

And you know what? What my mum said is right. My family and i cannot work in a line that deals with people. We cannot tolerate behaviour that is not acceptable. Our blood will boil - no matter how much we try to endure - and we'll suffer from HBP. T_T

Right now, all i can say to someone is..

I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR THINKING. I just don't think it's logical and neither is it a good idea. And hey, i always check with the people around me to see if the problem lies with me. It's not me. It's just you and your thinking. How is it possible to get the grades you want without being thorough and precise?

I don't understand!! I need YOU to tell me why it's a good idea. Then i will accept your idea and go ahead with it. If you can't give me a valid reason, i'm sorry but no :/

I want my grades.

PS: Trying again. LET GO.

, osn.

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