The awkwardness between us is not that significant. But to me, it feels as if i'm waiting for you to speak up, thus this barrier that i've created between us. For a moment sometimes, i just wished i could have a piece of your mind, to invade your world of thoughts and memories, just to know why. (:

My journal, filled with heart-felt words, carrying cherished memories close to me. They never fail to make me smile and laugh at myself. Sometimes i read and feel as if i'm a fool. Why had i believed what i believed and knew it would never happen. It never did, it never did. Now, i have to tell myself to let go. Since i'm letting go, should i be tearing the pages? The pages i wrote about you, the doodles i did by the side, the typical-teenage-girl-'love'... I wish, i wish, i wish. I wish i could. But journals, they're supposed to house my best and worst memories. So i'm not going to tear them, not going to try to erase them, not going to try to forget them. Because i know one day, i'll run back to my journal and flip to the pages i wrote your name on. The pages i teared on, the pages i wrote, overwhelmed with excitement, with birds chirping in my head and hearts circling above my head (like those you see in fairytales). As much as i'm trying to forget, i believe this secret that i keep without your knowledge of me knowing yours, will eventually transpire one day. And that day, would be the day i'll ask of you, the question, why. Till then, the past is just a history and a memoir to be kept - safely in my heart and my beloved journal.

{Hmmm, this wasn't a planned post. An impromptu one to be specific. It just came out of my mind and i felt that i had to put this down lest i'll be feeling down the whole day.}

PS: I posted my camping trip 'story' before this! So click the prev button to read/view the pictures (:

, osn.

previous   next