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OSN, 14061991
Chinese/Malay, Muslim, RMIT (Bbus Mgt Finance Major) Year 2, TP Business - Banking & Finance (Graduate), B.I.G, TPVC. Loves God, family, friends, photography, videography, sports, music, movies - LOTR, Transformers, European history, Japanese & Korean culture, Julia Roberts, Whoopi Goldberg, huge KPop fan, books by Jodi Picoult, Stephenie Meyer & Khaled Hossen

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ben benji bikui diyana - VC diyana - NSG eleanor ghangaa jessica jieying jing mariame nadia nesty nydia pamela randal rena sandra shalen tricia

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02 February 2007, 7:05 pm

Mental Breakdown

I missed my dinner for the past few days, and today, i didn't eat during recess. I've totally lost my appetite. I don't know what's wrong but everything felt okay. Then, after eating lke.. 1/4 of my recess, i just stopped, looked so clueless and all, then out of nowhere, burst into tears. Yea, i cried. Mariam wasn't that shocked i'd assume, but the rest of the dimwits were. I'm sorry guys.. Okay, so recess ended with that, and while waiting for the teacher to come to class (we need to sit outside while waiting, wth?!), once again, started to tear slowly. Then i really burst out, with my sore eyes and all.. Then it stopped.. And Mr Randy relieved our class cos' Mr Mustafa didn't come. And our Shamimi was soooooo happy la. Hahaha, Shamimi was drowning in the love buffet. So, i went to Mariam's place to talk to her and if there's a need, cry. And i did, for the 3rd time. I didn't know what was wrong with me la. Mariam and some said that there are things things on my mind, mixed feelings, stress.. But the fact that i didn't have anything on my mind at all, i skipped my meals and my heart was crying out loud inside, meant something else..

Mariam said i was probably pushing myself too hard cos' of the hectic test schedules. Yea, i would say so la. I've been worrying so much to catch up with everyone, pressure from "them", me trying my best to do as much revision as i can, and waking up at 3 to study my chemistry didn't make it better. I haven't been resting properly and i've not been taking care of myself. I've been feeling so uneasy, my heart's not in the right place and all. I didn't go for hmt today.. I was afraid that i may just collapse and cry and people will send to me to dunno-where-they-would. And furthermore, i wanted to have a proper rest. But no, HE came back and reprimanded me for being lazy and all cos' i didn't go for hmt this week. I felt like stomping my way out of the house, really. This time, i really told myself to keep calm and that things will get better after the storm. But my hopes are fading quick, cos' i've been telling myself that for the past few years. Be patient and that everything will come to an end. And that doesn't seem to be happening at all. My confidence level probably took a plunge already because of this. But i need to get rest this weekend. Swimming/jogging anyone? I need some peace..

Also btw, band 1 won the debate today! Wooooooot! Btw, Ummaira did very well today for being best speaker. YOU ROCK LA! And band 1's going to challenge band 5 after they won over the sec 5s. And JohnBoy needs to chill. Haha. Last note, Joshua Dinesh, Jickky, internet? On the field? Possible? HAHAHA.

, osn.

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