Now.

Profile

OSN, 14061991
Chinese/Malay, Muslim, RMIT (Bbus Mgt Finance Major) Year 2, TP Business - Banking & Finance (Graduate), B.I.G, TPVC. Loves God, family, friends, photography, videography, sports, music, movies - LOTR, Transformers, European history, Japanese & Korean culture, Julia Roberts, Whoopi Goldberg, huge KPop fan, books by Jodi Picoult, Stephenie Meyer & Khaled Hossen

archive?

Tagboard

Exits

deviantart
facebook
LJ
fourea
bsc

ben benji bikui diyana - VC diyana - NSG eleanor ghangaa jessica jieying jing mariame nadia nesty nydia pamela randal rena sandra shalen tricia

Credits

Skin: Glamouresque.
Pattern: Florc x
Host: Diaryland Co.cc PB CJB

05 April 2011, 9:55 pm

Most of the times, faith is all that matters.

While travelling home tonight, I suddenly thought of how I've complained a few times about how opportunities don't come knocking at my door as much as it does for the people around me. I'm such an ungrateful girl, am I not? ): If you remember on one occasion, my mother herself admitted that my 'rezeki' is not very good. It's not something I should blame Him for. It's not right if I do that. Any mishap that befalls on us is because of our own deeds. And I know myself best. I haven't been the perfect person. It's one of the reasons why I don't really like it when people sing praises of me too often. It irks me. I irk myself. I am not deserving for all these praises. I have a long way to go and whatever that I do, I try my best. But sometimes, my best can only go so far.

I try hard. Opportunities are hard to come by. So I tell myself to keep trying. A couple of times, the devil whispers to me that my tudung is a hindrance. At times, I feel like everyone is staring at me with unkind eyes. At times, I consider taking my tudung off. During such times, I shut my mind to these awful thoughts and read my prayers and ask for His forgiveness. But such incidents are also probably signs that I'm still not strong in my faith yet. And it upsets me deeply. I am blessed (mashaAllah, so blessed!) to have grown up in a healthy household with parents who enforce the importance of religion in this house. I have been brought up to understand the importance of religion in life and though I cannot find the right words to explain to people and friends this importance, there is definitely something to it. Then again, the failure to put this into words also mean that I have a long way to go to explain religion to the people who question me.

Mum revealed her birthday wish a month back. It's to read the Surah Yasin for her. It'd be the greatest present for her and I hope I will fight hard to find time to memorise and practice. Another big event is going to happen this year and I hope God will bring my parents there and back safely. InsyaAllah. There are several huge events this year and I hope God will make me a stronger and more courageous person. I'm turning 20 in June and I'm asking for Him to make me a stronger person mentally and a stronger muslimah.

I need this. Because the thought of God's Mercifulness and Greatness really reassures me of many things. He lifted a veil over my eyes to realise how true this religion is. It's now up to me to take the next step up and increase my faith.

InsyaAllah. Amin.

, osn.

previous next