You don't deserve my respect if you are that way towards me. For all my life, i must credit my parents for inculcating moral values in me that i have and will carry out in my lifetime. When we were young, my parents would use to punish us if we were rude towards anyone and that has since been the same if we ever slip. Punishment sounds bad, it was. But when you think about it, it's truly worth. When i think about the amount of scoldings i've received for being rude in the family, hatred overshadows every bit of love that i have for them but on second thought, i believe it was worth it no matter what.

And now when people are rude, i really hate it. Because they don't deserve even a pinch of respect. Don't speak of elders because we of course have to show our respect for them, no less, no arguments needed. Even if we're off the same age, a few months or years off, wouldn't it be morally appropriate to respect one another? Where are your morals, my friend? I'm not saying that i am a saint and that i respect everyone i see. I give respect to people who deserve it. You don't earn any of my trust and respect anymore. Besides, i've decided not to earn your respect anymore because i don't even want it if it's "just for the sake of..." or "just because you're my classmate/friend". You bloody don't deserve any of it and maybe to you, i don't either. Personality clashes.

Last night, i had a major breakdown and even though my family were there backing me up, it was a pain in the ass to have to face such issues. Especially when i treat respect as a core value that i think everyone should have. It's ridiculous how you talk to me and whatnot. I'm extremely turned off by such behaviour. And i have to call myself a dope for being so stupid for breaking down over such a worthless piece of crap.

I don't know if the society can cope with your disrespect for others. I for sure, cannot.

And this is one of the reasons why i miss 4EA so much. We didn't have such issues AT ALL. Even if we held grudges against one another, i never had to cry because no matter what, we know we're still fine at the end of the day.

My sore eye is getting better. The crying must've helped in some ways, LOL. But it is better, Alhamdulilah. Since i have 2 days off, i took the liberty to go for the revision lecture yesterday but skipped this afternoon's lecture. I just wanted time off myself for a day and catch up on my work. And i have to admit when i saw Sirong's tag and Mariame's tag this morning, i smiled like a little girl who held balloons for the first time. Friends like these make my day bright and happy. Thank you <3

Bestie! Wo hen xiang nian ni!
I was talking to my mum last night before the drama. "I think it's best not to be too close to someone because in time, you'll see their flaws and that's when the friendship between you two will fall apart," I told mummy. She was glad i finally got the point. I realised this because of Chris though, really. When we were in sec 2, i made him my best friend after knowing each other for 3 years. I gave him my trust and started talking for hours on the phone and shared my thoughts. Although when he started singing, i threatened to hang up, HAHA. We don't really talk much in school other than frequent hellos and byes because we were afraid of what people might say. Sometimes i think people wonder why i call him my best friend even when i don't talk much to him and don't really spend time with him. I really realised that not being too close was better than being so close. If you get what i mean... Only when we feel like, we'll ring each other up and talk. And of course when he needed my help to get someone. XP

Apparently, it's quite different for my girlfriends, though. I love them so much i don't even care of the flaws that all of us have. Yes, we do quarrel sometimes (english lessons, splitting of tables, crying, cold shoulders and what else that ended within 30 minutes, :P) but everything really worked out for all 4 of us. Weird as it seems, we're almost inseparable at most times. Only now school's been tearing me apart because we get to meet up only once in 2 months or so!

Still, that's a lesson i've learnt in my 17 years. A lot more on the way and still much more to take in and accept. Because in the end,"This is life," my mum said before i went to bed.

Thank you family, shamini raj, mariame, maira (i'll always be a phone call away, don't cry without telling me either!) and my almost-invisible best friend who's words have a special impact on me. I'll never forget the day my grandpa passed and how you said things that made me feel so much calmer.

I'm blessed for the things that God have given me, good or bad. He knows best, and i believe these come to me so that i can take it as a lesson. He makes me a stronger person. And to give me friends who are always ready to pull me back up on my feet. My beautiful healer, my number 1!

PS: Fading...mcdreamy ):
PPS: Seriously, i'm hooked to Alex's album. Finally found a good video to showcase his voice :3