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OSN, 14061991
Chinese/Malay, Muslim, RMIT (Bbus Mgt Finance Major) Year 2, TP Business - Banking & Finance (Graduate), B.I.G, TPVC. Loves God, family, friends, photography, videography, sports, music, movies - LOTR, Transformers, European history, Japanese & Korean culture, Julia Roberts, Whoopi Goldberg, huge KPop fan, books by Jodi Picoult, Stephenie Meyer & Khaled Hossen

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07 June 2006, 2:55 pm

Not mummy's little girl anymore.

I've been so restless for the past few days. Actually, the whole week. I can't concentrate on the workload i have. I really can't. Maybe it's the computer that's hypnotized me into this state. I woke up early this morning to my mum's non-stop-nag-cum-lecture. It was killing me. I couldn't stand it till i covered myself with my blanket/quilt. Until she stopped, i continued my daily routines. Took a bath, helped her with some cooking and when she left, i played some games. I'm a bad girl right? I feel so. I'm not obeying her. But why do i feel this way? My mum say hard things come my way, but i don't feel the impact that's hurting me. I don't agree. My grades has shot me right in the heart and i don't feel right. Not at all. But why don't i have the feeling of urgency to patch things up right?

I'm puzzled. Really puzzled. Is it wrong to feel this way? The people i know are just lazing around or of what i know, playing games 24/7. But for me, everything is different. June is now a torment for me. Not like the previous years where i REALLY lazed around. Sitting on the couch, staring into the computer screen and i. Maybe this is what i get for not doing well yea? I feel that it's a really good time to patch my flaws, but how come i don't have the urge to do what i WANT? Why do i feel so pressurised by the workload. I want to do it, but something's pulling me away from all these. I'm sick. I'm really sic. Mental distressed? I feel like tearing. Really badly. Maybe that Monday, my mum broke my heart yea?

Here's how it went:
My mum was working till late 12am. And i stayed up late to have "dinner" with her. When she came back, she kept telling me off and nagging at me. I felt lost. I thought it was a good intention. To stay up late and wait to have dinner with her. But no. She doesn't seem to appreciate it. So, i guess i couldn't take it and left her alone. I didn't eat my dinner that night cos' i felt neglected. I think her work is breaking us apart. When she just got the new job, i was extremely overjoyed. but i'm still fearing that she would come back as late. From then on, i felt different. I didn't feel loved anymore.

Can someone really cheer me up and get me back on my feet again? I'm lost. Really lost. Help me get back on my feet.

, osn.

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