I haven't been updating! I don't feel guilty though. Been really busy and catching up with schoolwork. Tutorials have been a pain in the ass lately. 5 tutorials to complete every weekend and a lot of things to revise. Currently, i feel like i'm trapped in a spider's web. Our modules for this semester is so interrelated. Sometimes we tend to mix up what we've learnt and it's difficult to keep up. Our lecturers seem to be rushing through our lectures just to catch up on the time that we have lost/will lose - public holidays and the long 4-week break in August. Horrible! At times, we mess up which tutorial/lecture notes to bring too! Really need to be up on our toes.

What happened over the past weeks have been overwhelming as well. I had a good time though. My cousin's wedding, my first meeting with my KL cousins that i have never met before. Speaking of which, i feel so happy to know that my family tree is huge. HAHA! I love big families. I wish life wasn't too difficult to have so many kids running in the house. The more the merrier~ But these days, more means $$$$ too. Irritating.

Was talking to my mum last night. "How do people live till they're 50+ or even 35+ for that matter? Life is so difficult. How do they tolerate the hardships and messed up situations that they are trapped in?" I know. The answer is always God. But how do people manage to tolerate all these? Life is so harsh and difficult. It makes me want to cry; okay i did. I look around me and see adults and the elderly. I look at them and think if i will ever be in their place. Right now, it's so tiring. Studying, is obviously tiring. No question about that. But even without it, it's still a difficult task to keep living and not care about money, or political breakdowns or crisis or stock markets crashing and all that. I realise what i've said are all related to money. Yes. Because everyone on Earth is greedy for money, we're living like this now. And because of money, Earth is failing.

And who's going to suffer? Us. It's like Earth getting back at us for destroying it.

Even though i've complained so much, ultimately, i hope i will forever keep in mind that God is always here. He will see us through this. And just being reminded of Him, puts my heart at ease. InsyaAllah. I will pull through life. InsyaAllah, all of us will.

Amin.

PS: Funny how i stopped searching for you, stopped thinking about you.
PPS: Grey's Anatomy is good to watch because it relates to people easily. Their scriptwriters are amazing people who puts your unsaid thoughts (that you thought you cannot put into words) into strong sentences that will pierce through your heart and make you feel.

, osn.

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