(Played with the Curves in PS to kill time and boredom)

I'm not usually a girly girl; i'm in-between. I take after my mum. She used to be a tomboy but she still kept her long hair and liked to braid her sisters' hair. The Marie box in those pictures were obviously given by someone else - my mum's colleague - about 5 years back i think. It keeps my private things inside. Things i don't want people to see/read. Like letters and such. I don't think my mum has seen it or suspected anything though, because it's not kept in any secret place or anything. Well, enough of the pretty box. But i'm still hunting for a Marie handphone charm or any kind of trinkets. I did try to find at some gift shops selling Disney stuffs with the girls before but Marie doesn't seem to be a popular Disney character ): To be honest, i don't know much about her. HAHAHA.

Back to reality and what's really happening, i've been quite upset and tired lately. A lot of things that i've been keeping to myself. Whatever that's happening and has happened, is just going to get worse. I'm not even sure what i can make out of it or if something good will eventually come out of this. I, for one, cannot comprehend why his/her actions are as such. It frustrates me to a point where i am just ready to shout or if i don't have to the guts to do it, leave. I'm not sure (as always) if i can cope with this. What if the grass is greener on the other side and i am here, when i actually have the choice to go over? But then again, what if i don't have the choice? And where will i go from here? Yes, i'm giving up. I'm giving up trying to be nice, trying to be patient with everything, trying to be understanding. Trying just about everything a 18-year-old can do. But i'm stopping. FINALLY, i am really stopping. Unless the timid osn comes out again, then i'll admit defeat.

But really, who am i kidding here? Fight against him/her? Good luck, osn.

On a different note, i dreamt of a friend yesterday. It didn't come as a surprise though because he/she has been on my mind for quite some time. I think i miss my friends a lot, that's all. Some, i haven't even got the chance to talk to since we graduated from NSS. Of course, i miss my dimwits too. I dreamt that we had a sleepover at Kelvin's place the other night. I miss them a lot.

Other good news include the fact that my granny's out of the hospital and recovering fast. It was just high fever though. However, i've been praying and asking God to not take her in the next maannny maaannyy years. She's my only grandparent left and even though i find it difficult to converse with her in proper Malay, i still love her. And i am not ready to lose someone i love. I only lost 1 person i love so dearly, my grandpa. And even so, i'm not ready for another similar situation.

I should go to bed. My stomach is of all sorts and my body's aching. I'm really tired with all that's happening around me.

Goodnight, world.

PS: I love God, family, friends and my Nikon D60 + Nikkor 35mm f/1.8 (hehehehe, action only. but i'm still over the moon that i finally got my hands on it after 9 months of wait k!)
PPS: I found the ring my mum gave me as a little girl and am wearing it now. Showed it to my mum and she went,"So long ready, you still keep it?" So long ago, she didn't even remember till i told her. I'm going to wear it to bed and wherever. Only going to take it off when i take my abulution ;)

, osn.

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