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Time, I've been patient for so long
how can i pretend to be so strong?
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 Profile
OSN, 14061991Chinese/Malay, Muslim, RMIT (Bbus Mgt Finance Major) Year 2, TP Business - Banking & Finance (Graduate), B.I.G, TPVC. Loves God, family, friends, photography, videography, sports, music, movies - LOTR, Transformers, European history, Japanese & Korean culture, Julia Roberts, Whoopi Goldberg, huge KPop fan, books by Jodi Picoult, Stephenie Meyer & Khaled Hossen Tagboard
Exits
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17 January 2008, 8:03 pm
Sigghhhhhh I realised most of my goals that i've set for the past few years haven't been met at all. Apart from the minor ones, i'm really disappointed with myself. What happened today, only me, mum and God knows. I truly feel upset that i couldn't be THAT person in THAT uniform and it's actually created a significant impact on me today. I haven't been myself(more like emo-ing) tonight. I feel like crying cos' i regret my own choices and truthfully, i'm at a lost of words to judge who i am. I use to hate my parents sometimes for putting so much pressure on me(to the extend that i end up breaking down and seeking help from friends) to perform. Through these years, i've constantly discussed my dream with them but i always end up failing everytime it comes to the big thing. I wish i was that person in that particular uniform sometimes. Even that, i suddenly come to a conclusion whether i will ever be one of them. What happened today, only mum, God and i know. It's created a significant impact tonight that i haven't been myself. Not that i'm making it too obvious at home, i think only my mum knows what's going on. It makes me want to tear thinking about my goal setting times and those times i realise i will never be able to achieve them, and i end up tearing the post-its up and throwing them into the bin. This year, i've made my own resolutions. One of them is to change my studying ethic which is crucial if i'm to pursue my A's or rather, any of my exams. Another one, is to boost my confidence level because i lack the most important thing in my life. Anyone knows how i can build up my confidence? (: Anyways, i'll blog about this some other time cos' i'm busy catching up with a gooooood friend/classmate DON! :D:D And yay! Bestie talk tooooo! PS: I WANNA CRY OUT LOUD UNDER THE RAIN FOR SO MANY THINGS THAT'S BEEN MAKING ME SO SAD. OVERALL, today has been awful :( |
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Keep holding on,
because you'll get there eventually. |
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