There are a lot of times this year where i felt like giving up. Too many times :/ One reason that keeps me going is because i know that i'm doing everything for Him. But any other reason, i really cannot find. Do i still not know what i want? I don't have a direction or a destination. Hence, no real motivation.

I better change that before i really decide on giving up. Because that would kill me. And the people around me.

Plus, my parents pinning their hopes and wishes on me doesn't really help. Sorry but. I think it's enough if you tell me once, twice or three times. But not over and over again. I think it's a turn off. It makes me tired. I cannot sleep well. I keep counting my grades in my sleep, i keep dreaming about what might happen.

Maybe i'm the problem. I don't know how to handle stress well.

Maybe that's why this break, i have so many craters on my face. I hate it. I feel like crying. When my brother and mum pointed that out to me this morning, i really felt like crying. I'm a girl for goodness sake, can't i be vain for once? :'(

, osn.

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